It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNSYou know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
More George Burns Quotes
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS