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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

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Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder

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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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All Bad Country Cut Hair Know People Run Taxicab Too
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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