I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNSYou know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
More George Burns Quotes
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS