Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNSI don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
More George Burns Quotes
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS






