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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

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Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now

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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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