How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
More George Burns Quotes
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS