If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
More George Burns Quotes
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
GEORGE BURNS






