I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNSHappiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
More George Burns Quotes
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS






