I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNSFirst you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
More George Burns Quotes
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
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Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS