Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNSDon’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
More George Burns Quotes
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
GEORGE BURNS -
At my age flowers scare me.
GEORGE BURNS -
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
GEORGE BURNS -
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
GEORGE BURNS -
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS