I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNSDon’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
More George Burns Quotes
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
GEORGE BURNS -
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
GEORGE BURNS -
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
GEORGE BURNS -
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNS -
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
GEORGE BURNS -
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
GEORGE BURNS -
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GEORGE BURNS -
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
GEORGE BURNS -
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
GEORGE BURNS