Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZDo not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ