In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ