There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZThere is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZYou can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZAs a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZHaving been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
FRAN LEBOWITZWhen you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZYou’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZBeing a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZIfyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZNature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
FRAN LEBOWITZVery few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZStand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZChildren are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZI must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZDo not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZLife is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZ