In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






