Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ