Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZAll God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






