My favorite animal is steak.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ