All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZDon’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
FRAN LEBOWITZ