In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZIn the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZRomantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
FRAN LEBOWITZVegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZThe telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZMy desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
FRAN LEBOWITZChildren are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
FRAN LEBOWITZIn real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZScientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZIfyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZVery few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZYou’re only as good as your last haircut.
FRAN LEBOWITZEven when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
FRAN LEBOWITZFood is an important part of a balanced diet.
FRAN LEBOWITZSuccess didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
FRAN LEBOWITZ