I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECKHousework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECK