Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECKI remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECK