You know what I hate? Indian givers… no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPSAll the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there’s so many real reasons to hate others.
More Emo Philips Quotes
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When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That’s what gave me the courage.
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Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.
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Interviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect that there was something strange about it. So I cut off my pageboy.
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I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
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When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.
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If an asteroid is coming toward you, you don’t have to blow it up. You just have to slow it down long enough for our country to rotate out of the way.
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I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.
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I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they’re just as scared of me.
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Don’t wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?
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The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
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I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.
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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there’s no tomorrow.
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I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.
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All the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there’s so many real reasons to hate others.
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I don’t know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I’m fairly confident that I’ll be taken off of it for one.
EMO PHILIPS