The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKERFriends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER -
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER