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Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.

Dorothy Parker

The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Fashion Lost Myself
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER

Change Funny Life Myself Oneself Sex Story
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER

One Liner Revenge Writing
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER

Herself Leadership Thinking Yourself
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER

Distance Hell Simplicity Sports Truth Word
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER

Excitement Fortune Irritation
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Easy Love People Sweet Yourself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
DOROTHY PARKER

Cheating Hollywood Reality
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER

Letter Look Word
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Literature Study Yourself
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Dirty Hands Nature Play Target Yourself
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER

Avoid Best Drink Stay Way
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beyond Live Wild
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Jealous Satisfaction Wine

Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.

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Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.

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More Dorothy Parker Quotes