Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKERDucking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
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A girl’s best friend is her mutter.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER