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And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.

Dorothy Parker

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Happiness History Human Willing
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER

Burn Heart Myself Safety Scars
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER

One Liner Revenge Writing
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER

Old Teaching Trick Yourself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death Growth Rose Willing
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
DOROTHY PARKER

Creativity Discipline Eyes Mindset Wild
It was written without fear and without research.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fear Research Writing
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER

Depend Law Life Thinking Worst Yourself
Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Death Feeling Myself Time
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Jealous Satisfaction Wine
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appreciate Audience Goodness Intelligence Myself Praise Talk
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Life Study Theft Yourself
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Fashion Lost Myself
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Fashion Funny Love Sex
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER

Hate Love Myself Writing
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Goodness Hide Safety Treasure Woman

And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.

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And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.

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