Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKEROf course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER -
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER -
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER -
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER -
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER
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