Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKEROf Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
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If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
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Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
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Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
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Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
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Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
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I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
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But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER