The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERThat woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
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The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
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Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER -
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
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The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
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And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
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There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
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But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
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Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER