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You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.

Dorothy Parker

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fight Liberty Man Room Start
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER

Character Drink Identity Myself Problem Writing
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Surprise Woman
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Kill Mess Myself Tragedy
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bed Himself Voice
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER

Quiet Storm
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
DOROTHY PARKER

Myself Tone View Voice
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER

Letter Look Word
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER

Forget Give Up Inspirational Myself One Liner
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER

Care Fun Myself Stay
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Brave Doctor Serious
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Friendship Need Room
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER

Old Teaching Trick Yourself

You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.

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You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.

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Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes