If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER -
What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
DOROTHY PARKER -
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER -
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKER -
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER