The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERHe is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
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Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
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There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
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Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
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The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
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By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
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Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER