“The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.”

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.

If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

Women and elephants never forget.

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

So long as freedom from hunger is only half achieved, so long as two thirds of the nations have food deficits, no citizen, no nation can afford to be satisfied.

A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.

The walls were wet and sticky, and peach juice was dripping from the ceiling. James opened his mouth and caught some of it on his tongue. It tasted delicious.

I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.

Investing in the science of food is truly an investment in our future.

There is one difference between a long life & a great dinner; in the dinner, the sweet things come last.

There is one difference between a long life & a great dinner; in the dinner, the sweet things come last.

The lion is most handsome when looking for food.