“The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.”

There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.

If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.

Women and elephants never forget.

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!

Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

Where unwilling dies the rose; buds the new another year.

I am a citizen of the most beautiful nation on earth, a nation whose laws are harsh yet simple, a nation that never cheats, which is immense and without borders, where life is lived in the present.

Don’t trust a guy who accuses you of infidelity. He’s cheating. He’s projecting. If you’re living that kind of life, you think everybody else is too.

I know all about cheating. I’ve had six very successful marriages.

Men are more prone to cheating, definitely.

My dreams were always of you but every time I closed my eyes you belonged to someone else.

I felt like I was cheating myself of those communities and cheating the audience because I wasn’t able to know them. That’s what the bikes did, without me having to put any arbitrary philosophy on what it was supposed to be. It enabled human connection.

Better to be occasionally cheated than perpetually suspicious.

Being capable of anything is a bullshit concept, unless it means you also admit that you’re capable of cheating, lying and killing.