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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

Dorothy Parker

Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beyond Live Wild
And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
DOROTHY PARKER

Himself Run Stay
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Girl Man Wear
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Business People Right Yourself
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance Death Drink Laughter
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Mom Pregnant Yourself
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Clothes Fashion Party Yourself
A girl’s best friend is her mutter.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Friendship Girl Herself
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKER

Challenge Honesty Survive Test Yourself
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER

Diamond Health Money Myself
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appreciate Audience Goodness Intelligence Myself Praise Talk
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER

Letter Look Word
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER

Burn Heart Myself Safety Scars
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Literature Study Yourself
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER

Education Learning Yourself
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Kill Mess Myself Tragedy
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Choice Clothes Grave Life Style Time Yourself
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom
Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
DOROTHY PARKER

City Place Search

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

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