The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
DOROTHY PARKERWomen and elephants never forget.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER