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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

Dorothy Parker

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Jealous Satisfaction Wine
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER

Quiet Storm
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Feeling Hurt Necessary Yourself
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER

Depend Law Life Thinking Worst Yourself
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Food Growth Taste
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER

Kill Mess Myself Tragedy
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER

End Happiness History Human Willing
I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER

Mindset True Writing
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Curious Deep
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
DOROTHY PARKER

Sick Storm
Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
DOROTHY PARKER

Genius Material Talent Writing
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER

Boredom Elegant Manner Right
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER

Care Fun Myself Stay
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Beautiful Greatness Healing Myself Time
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER

Act Quick
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER

Beyond Live Wild
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Fashion Lost Myself
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER

Best Books Hands Myself Run
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
DOROTHY PARKER

Friendship Greatness Happiness Present Writing Young
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Children Forever Himself Time Writing
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Business People Right Yourself
Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Hate Hell Identity Love Myself Yourself
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER

Action Responsibility Yourself

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

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