If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKERI don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Women and elephants never forget.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER -
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER -
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!
DOROTHY PARKER -
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKER