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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

Dorothy Parker

If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER

Care Fun Myself Stay
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER

Forget Give Up Inspirational Myself One Liner
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Friendship Need Room
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER

Acceptance Leaving Myself
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKER

Man Myself Relationship Requirement Stupidity
I hate writing, I love having written.
DOROTHY PARKER

Hate Love Myself Writing
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Professional Way Writing
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKER

Future Love Past Seek Sorrow
It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER

Entertainment Fun Goodness Myself
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Around Charm Done Stop
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER

Better Death Goodness Herself Judgement
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Fashion Funny Love Sex
You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
DOROTHY PARKER

Old Teaching Trick Yourself
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Business People Right Yourself
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER

Food Forever People
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death God
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Easy Love People Sweet Yourself
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER

Bad Food Growth Taste
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
DOROTHY PARKER

Company Myself Talk Yourself
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes