If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGETI love my mom! You can too for $12!
More Bob Saget Quotes
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
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In the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
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I love my mom! You can too for $12!
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
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People do what they do to each other and they feed on it.
BOB SAGET