My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGETAt the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
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Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
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I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
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If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
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When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGET -
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
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Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
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I love my mom! You can too for $12!
BOB SAGET -
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET -
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET -
What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
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I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET -
Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.
BOB SAGET