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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Bob Hope

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status.
BOB HOPE

Christmas Image Littles Screen Touching
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE

Golf Painting President
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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