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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Bob Hope

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE

Music Names Personality Play
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE

Christmas Holiday Old Fashioned Xmas
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE

Eighteen Engaged Finished Foursome
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan

We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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