On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPEOn one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPEWe’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPEWhen I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPEMy secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPEWe didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPEHe hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPEI only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPESure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPERock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPEJimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPEFor the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPEThe older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPEI have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPEAt the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPEDon’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPEI have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE