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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

Bob Hope

Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE

England Hair Line One
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE

Age Calculate Fingers Rings
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life

You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

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