I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPEGolf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE