In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
BILLY CONNOLLYPeople who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
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I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
BILLY CONNOLLY