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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Billy Connolly

I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Desert Drawing Islands Middle Page
I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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Believe Book Care Film Movie
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
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Funny Humor Jesus
There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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Encouragement Fighting Safe Watching
I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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Citizens People Represented Thinking
Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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Art Needs Reality
There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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Anything Comment Figure Matrimony
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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Cowardice Language Politically Correct
[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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Arriving Kill Killing MIssed Time
Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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Election Political Vote
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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Jobs Jon Tell Workplace
I’ve never done a comedy club in my life. It’s weird because I don’t have the same background as most comics. I don’t have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.
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Clubs Comedy Comics Done Eight Weird
Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
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Disease Media Negativity
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
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Funny Humor Morning Snowplough
Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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Gently Looks Sideway Tread
Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Fraudulence People Pomposity Sometimes Thinking Water

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

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