Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHERHalloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHERYou want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHERIt’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
BILL MAHERWe don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
BILL MAHERIt’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHERIf anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHERThe answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHERIn Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHEREverything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
BILL MAHERIdiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHERTo a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHERIf you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHEROne of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
BILL MAHERThe true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
BILL MAHERThey’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHERI don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
BILL MAHER