The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHERThe First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHER