If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
BILL MAHERSuicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER