Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
BILL MAHERSuicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
BILL MAHER






