As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHERA new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
BILL MAHER -
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
BILL MAHER -
There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
BILL MAHER -
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER -
Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
BILL MAHER -
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
BILL MAHER -
Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
BILL MAHER -
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER -
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER -
I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
BILL MAHER -
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER -
The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER -
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHER -
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER