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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?

Bill Maher

Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
BILL MAHER

Cash Crime Discussion Legal War
I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
BILL MAHER

Ancient Atheist Man Myth Religion Story Thinking
When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHER

Office People Silence Talk
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHER

Complain Noise Opportunity People
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER

God Man Quit Suicide Way Yourself
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER

Debate Right Science Subject Vote
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER

Check Funny People Support
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER

Death Move Myself Suicide Traffic
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
BILL MAHER

Easy Hairs Herself Home Sex Woman World
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHER

Call Celebration Fake Fools Ourselves People
The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER

Answer Food Health Sick
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
BILL MAHER

Himself Name Obvious
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHER

Explanation Hard Idiot Yourself
You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
BILL MAHER

Difference People Prayer Religious Warm Yourself
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER

Believe Death Egg Goodness War
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER

Generosity Help Liberal Myself

If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?

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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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