“We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.”

People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!

Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.

If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.

The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.

The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.

Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.

Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.

If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.

What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.

Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.

I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?

Men are only as loyal as their options.

I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.

The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.

That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.

Writing stopped being fun when I discovered the difference between good writing and bad and, even more terrifying, the difference between it and true art. And after that, the whip came down.

The only way a kid is going to practice is if it’s total fun for him and it was for me.

Pretending to be a princess is fun, but it is definitely not a career.

A holiday isn’t a holiday, without plenty of freedom and fun.

I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Every once in a while I think, ‘What am I doing out here running, busting myself up? Life could be so much easier. The other guys are out having fun, doing other things, why not me?’

Do what you want to try doing. Take whatever you get out of it and have fun.

Oh come all ve misfits, you belong in my fun freak world.