As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHERAs you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHERAmerica is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHERWhen you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHERLittle do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHERI think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
BILL MAHERAgain, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHERThe problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
BILL MAHERHalloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHERFaith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
BILL MAHERIt’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHERThe whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
BILL MAHERThe thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
BILL MAHERWomen cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHERReligion is insanity by consensus.
BILL MAHERSome people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHERThe Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER