Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
BILL MAHERMen are only as loyal as their options.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
BILL MAHER