You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
BILL MAHERMen are only as loyal as their options.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
BILL MAHER -
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
BILL MAHER






