Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHERI’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER