Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHERHere’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
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I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER