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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.

Bill Maher

Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER

Break Home Right Shoot Trade Yourself
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER

Himself Missing Money Negotiation Yourself
The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER

Addiction Drug War
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
BILL MAHER

Bank Funny Gun Weapon Yourself
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER

Ban Bed Myself People Smoking
Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
BILL MAHER

Injustice Tolerance Yourself
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
BILL MAHER

Certain Ideas People Problem
The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHER

Death Fact Kind Live Man Plain Religion
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
BILL MAHER

Himself Name Obvious
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHER

Attention Country Pay Stupidity
In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHER

Country Guilty Wealth Yourself
Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
BILL MAHER

Arab Date Goodness Man Result Talk Woman
If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
BILL MAHER

Enterprise Religious Rich Sales Start Yourself
I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
BILL MAHER

Children Expectation Feel Mistake Rocket Terrible Yourself
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
BILL MAHER

Click Perspective Reading Religious Software
Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHER

Atheist Definition Idiot Position Religion Sex

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.

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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.

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