If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHERIt’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHER